DEEP MINK: “While American Big Tech is allowed to spy on you and censor everything you say in grotesque ways that the world hasn’t seen since Stalin, U.S. now goes to war against Gen Z and bans beloved TikTok — because China! We have a simple message for our dear American readers: Get a VPN or move to the free world!” π¨
‘King’ Charles bestows new ridiculous title on one of his subjects π€‘
KREMLIN ATTACKS U.S. DRINKING WATER π¨
DEEP MINK: “As much as we want Trump to lose in 2024, we don’t believe he did anything wrong in the hush-money case. Blame the extortionists and the news media that buy and bury History — not their victims!”TRIAL: Tabloid publisher says he suppressed negative news, pledged to be Trump’s ‘eyes and ears’ in 2016 race π¨
WILL POWER! Happy Birthday, Shakespeare! π¬π§
STUDY: OLD AGE BEGINS AT 75! Also, Trump is 77, and Biden is 81 — but Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is 70 πΊπΈ
MAGA U.S. DESCENDING INTO ANTI-SEMITIC NIGHTMARE! Ex-CNN anchor heading to Israel, stating it’s safer than New York City for her Jewish family π¨
Microsoft AI tries — and MISERABLY fails — to make Mona Lisa rap in video that doesn’t even have the slightest resemblance with Leo’s La Gioconda π€‘
Australia is very sorry and also upset and outraged and, frankly, pissed that Elon Musk — unlike mainstream media and reporters — thinks that adults should be allowed to decide for themselves if they want to watch newsworthy videos or not π¨
“WHO’S AFRAID OF LITTLE OLD ME?” Taylor Swift has a new song for all you lovely Witches — and the Christians are going to hate it π₯
COME TO VENICE BIENNALE FOR THE BOOBS — stay for the alligator ride and spacewalk π¨
CELEBRATE OUR LOVELY EARTH TODAY! π
Two cannibals walk into a bar… π
CNN increases its anti-Hindu propaganda π¨
Rising French star Marion MarΓ©chal: “Do you want an Islamized Europe or a European Europe?” πͺπΊ
Tired of iPhone? You may want … the lobster phone π
A NEW PRESIDENT KENNEDY? JFK Jr. now polls at 13 percent — and he hurts Trump more than Biden π
Did sane Republicans finally find the perfect alternative to Trump in RFK Jr.? πΊπΈ- OLD GUYS NETWORK! CNN actually thinks it’s relevant what 79-year-old Michael Douglas feels about Biden’s age π€‘
The process is complete, Lindsey Graham finally lost it: Credits TRUMP for aid to Ukraine π€‘
EXPLAINS A LOT! The Tucker on shrooms π
Surfin’ with dolphins π¬β€οΈ
Patti Smith — who’s an actual ‘tortured poet’, as opposed to untalented American candy floss — is mentioned in new Taylor Swift album for some reason π΄π€
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